Dear SanTa…
…i am writing to you early because things are getting a little tough around here. even though it’s pretty messy, i promise to get things cleaned up, just ask my general manager, Ted. anyway, the fans are mad at me so I was wondering if i could get some early Christmas presents. here’s my list of what I want:
Pass Protection
Pass Rush
Running Game
Running Back (that can run for more than seven yards in one carry)
Punter
Kicker that can make kicks that count, I think they are called “clutch”
Game Plan
Helpful Challenge Advice
Defensive Coordinator
Quarterback (the one you gave me last year is really beat up)
$1,000 dollar gift card to Sammy’s Pizza in Ashwaubenon
If you can’t get me these presents, early, can I just have the gift card?
–Mike
P.S. And For What
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