Dr. Wurst Is In The House!

Dear Dr. Wurst, my team can’t hit a lick, we’ve been shut out, like, ten times already this year.  Can you prescribe a remedy?

-Ozzie Guillen, White Sox Manager

Dear Ozzie – Relax,  Your team will be fine.  This weekend your hitters will be given a daily dose of Suppan, Parra and Looper by the Milwaukee Brewers, so expect lots of extra base hits and plenty of runs from your struggling offense.  (Don’t worry about Trevor Hoffman, he only comes into the game when they are ahead in the ninth inning).  Come Monday, all your hitting woes will be cured, believe me.

And For What