The Ask Man Giveth

Is it just me, or did I see John Axford on State Street in Madison early this Spring playing guitar with a tin cup at his feet? Maybe instead of the “Ax Man” moniker we should change it to the “Ask Man”, as in some one who resembles a beggar. If that wasn’t him then he really needs to clean up his act, because imitating the look of a homeless person does nothing for your credibility as a closer when you give up a 3-3 tie to the Colorado Rockies with the neanderthal Jason Giambi leading off the ninth inning.

The Ask Man further complicated matters with a horrible pick-off throw that Matt Gamel didn’t even have a chance at stabbing, and all of a sudden the Rockies had Eric Young, pinch running for Giambi, at second base. Ultimatley he would be singled home and the Blewers anemic offense couldn’t rally, thus they suffered thier second straight one run defeat at $8 Miller Park, dropping their record to 6-8.

But the Ask Man isn’t the only culprit here, another so-so, command-less performance by starter Shaun Marcum never let the fans get comfortable, and the offense continues to sputter. First among the culprits in batting ineptitude is Mr. T – reigning NL MVP Ryan Braun. He is now on an 0-13 homestand run, featuring three straight whiffs last night. His year to date stats reflect the wwhole story, one home run, 5 RBI, and a .245 average. His clean up partner, AraMISS Ramirez, is hitting .160, with one home run and 6 RBI. Testosterone anyone?

Out in LA, Matt Kemp and Andre Ethier have a combined 16 home runs and 39 RBI for the 11-3, first place Dodgers. Kemp is hitting .481, without testosterone. Allegedly.

If you need to find a silver lining in this cyurrent mess, you can always go to brewers.com, where all of this data will be glossed over by the magical reporting of Aoki’s inside-the-park home run, or how you can now start voting for your Blewers in the All-star Game. Otherwise you can simply look at the NL comedy Central standings, where all the teams, less the first place Red Birds, are wallowing under.500.

You can also find solace in the fact that your haircut is probably ten times better looking than the one the Ask Man currently wears.

And For What