Hot! Mr. Pachucki on NFL Truths

That crazy NFL

More truths about the NFL…

– It isn’t a Monday night game until Jon Gruden complains about a bad call or a bad coaching decision for 12-15 minutes. PLEASE find a better partner for Tirico. I like listening to him.
– It isn’t a Sunday night game until Cris Collinsworth explains how much better he knows the game than anyone on the sidelines. That’s right, Cris…all you did was LOSE a Superbowl.
– It isn’t an exciting NFC North tilt until Brian Billick tells everyone what a great coach like him would do in this situation. I think that’s why I never liked the guy in Minnesota or Baltimore.
– It isn’t time for me to change the channel until Tony Siragusa makes an appearance in HD. It’s hard to believe he ever played the game…I liked him best when he had a mullet.
– It isn’t time to go back to Fox until you hear Phil Simms pronounce the word “him” as “EEM.” Great quarterback…failed linguist. As long as that goober from San Mateo is still in the league, I’m never going to like the AFC.
– It isn’t the NFL Network on Thursday night until Mike Mayock explains how much better he knows the rules than the league office.

I hammered on this earlier in the year: I just wish the executives would make some better decisions on who’s doing the commentating. You have great guys like Al Michaels, Kevin Harlan, and Mike Tirico doing the play-by-play, and we settle for color guys who can’t say anything more than “Rosebud” during a showing of Citizen Kane. Kudos to you, Troy Aikman…you’re a sugar cube in a salt mine.

Questions for you…
– Will Chip Kelly go back to the NCAA with the Texas job opening up?
– Is Bret “Where’s the Buffet?” Bielema a candidate for the Longhorns?
– Will Jay Cutler get shown the door in Chicago?
– Will Bruce Ariens sneak his Cardinals into the playoffs?
– And finally…Denver Wideout Eric Decker. Does he leave a Superbowl winner after this year?

Picks this week:

Eagles -4 (Call me a homer. Cutler is still under center.)
Bengals -7
Jaguars +5.5
Seahawks -9.5 (Russell Wilson has never lost at home)
Giants +9.5

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