Welcome To July

The Wurst Brewer Fan In The World will be heading back to the desert later in July.

Welcome to July, the slowest month in the wonderful world of sports, only of course, if you are a sports fan, that is. Otherwise, July is the official onset of Summer, especially here in Wisconsin, where days of temperatures north of 80 degrees instead of zero degrees are greatly appreciated.

July also means the 4th of July celebration, and, if you’re into pyrotechnics more than the average sparkler carrier, it may mean multiple fireworks displays for you to take in. It may also mean you budget at least a couple of C-notes for the annual trip to the Fireworks Warehouse, where your hard earned dollars will entitle you to M-80’s, bottle rockets, Roman Candles, firecrackers, and of course, the completely hazardous mortar shells and tubes. You’ve become familiar with the industry standards: Black Cat, Thunder Bomb, Moon Traveler and Cracklin’ Wheel. You know the elementary difference between ground displays and aerial devices, and you know all too well that at certain outlets these are all available by the BOGO (buy one get one) dozens. Light fuse and run away.

In Wisconsin, if you’re a baseball fan, your local professional team that masquerades as a major league franchise year after year, also known as the Brewers, will currently be 20 games out of first place in their division when July rolls around this year. That’s right, 20 games! Even a modest four game winning streak (mostly against the worst team in baseball, the Phillies, no less) and winning 7 of their last 9 games has only improved their pathetic record to a staggering 32-48. So, if you find yourself in the same division as the St. Louis Cardinals (51-26), the NL Central, in which they are, you are then mathematically 20 games out of first place. Optimists, or shall we say, pot heads, will remind you they are only 11 games out of the Wild Card race. Keeping in the tradition of the 4th of July, let’s just say, “Boom”.

Yes, welcome to July. Welcome to just 43 days until the Green Bay Packers football pre-season opener. That’s right, when the Brewers tank this badly, Cheeseheads across the globe begin fantasizing of another two win season against the Bears, a trip to the playoffs, and especially this year, a team without Brian Bostick. So-called NFL experts have the Green and Gold residents of Mr. Rodgers neighborhood all lined up for Super Bowl 50 in Santa Clara. In their new era of McCarthyism, the Pack is expected to do battle at Levi Stadium with…? Your guess is as good as mine, but all that really matters is that we’ll be that much closer to football season in less than seven weeks.

Welcome to July, and yes, welcome to the first ever Brett Favre flag football game for charity, er, for to pay whoever shows up to play. The NFL’s all-time interception leader will take to the turf of Camp Randall Stadium in Madison on July 19th to “raise funds” for his charity. Maybe if they they make it a rule that each pick he throws counts as a $10,000 donation, they could, indeed, raise millions, and in the process cover the expenses of the likes of Antonio Freeman and Mossy Cade. As of this blogging, the rumor circulating around here is that about 13,000 tickets have been sold to the event. Camp Randall holds 80,000 people. Maybe Brett should have “passed” on this one too. Looks like Ted Thompson will get the last laugh this time, while banning Number 4 from one last errant toss on the Lambeau turf, he may also be turning him into a red-faced retiree from a purple one.

And this year July finally means a vacation for the Wurst Brewer Fan and his lovely better half, Cyndi. Where else would we, or could we not go, if enticed by “comped” rooms and 115 degree temperatures? Why, of course, where else, The Entertainment Capital Of The World, Las Vegas, Nevada. We’ll be holed up under the shade of the palm trees at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino pool complex, while inside, the “Pardon Our Dust” signs will remind us that my favorite memory of this destination, The Center Bar, is currently under a two month renovation.

Thus, we can sleep soundly each desert night knowing that the mystery of the low room rates had finally been solved.

Welcome to July, indeed. And remember always, please, celebrate safely.

And For What

Leave a Reply