Wurst Denied

The Wurst Brewer Fan In The World was denied entrance to the annual winter Screwer road show Monday night at the Concourse Hotel in downtown Madison.  Maybe it was the “And For What” cap that I was wearing, the “Yost Is Toast” t-shirt with “Doug-Out Club” on the back, or the custom Air Jordans’ with the embroidered $6.75 inscription, but whatever it was, they wouldn’t let me in.  Nonetheless, I had come fully prepared with a list of pertinent questions for Mister Melvin and company. And so, like a treasured set list from a Ted Nugent concert, here is the actual list of un-asked questions I was prepared to deliver: 

Question #1 – “Mister Melvin, If you were a young boy collecting baseball cards, would you trade a J.J. Hardy for an Alec Gomez?”

Follow up question – “and would you just give away your Mike Cameron card?” 

Question #2 – “Mister Melvin, is there any truth to the conspiracy theory that the only reason you are going after alleged pitcher Doug Davis is to extend the length of games at Miller Park,  thus increasing beer sales?”

Follow up question – “Given the fact that your team was 80-82 last year and missed the playoffs, is there any reason to believe, that despite the fact that one of the world’s largest breweries sits right across the highway, that beer prices will remain the same or be reduced?”

Second follow up question – “ So you’re saying 10 cent beer night probably isn’t going to happen?” 

Question #3 – “Mister Melvin, is it true that if Corey Provus doesn’t step it up this year behind the microphone that you are prepared to replace him with Lou Holtz?”

Follow up question – “If indeed Lou Holts takes over the play-by-play, are you concerned that he may struggle with terms like short stop, second base and steals, or with name like Bush, Gomez and Prince?” 

Question #4 – “Mister Melvin, is there a rift between Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder because of the disparity in their respective salaries?”

Follow up question – “Then you’re saying the fact that Braun was planning on changing his name to “King” Braun has nothing to do with that? 

Question #5 –“The African-American community in Milwaukee has been complaining about the lack of representation in the Sausage Race(even though the hot dog skin tone kind of looks like Tiger Woods).  You have the Polish, the German, the Italian, and added Chorizo.  Is there any truth to the rumor that your marketing department is planning on introducing a ”Char-Dog” at the All-Star break to solve this problem?”

Follow up question – “And what do you plan on doing about the Asians?” 

Final Question– “How much did you pay Jody Gerut?”

No follow up question. 

And For What

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