The Wurst Of 2012

 

 

Another year has passed, and it’s time once again for a quick look back at the somewhat memorable events of the past 365 days. As the Rose Bowl parade drones on in the background, a sense of deja vu pervades in the house of the Wurst Brewer Fan In The World.

Exactly one year ago today, Wisky fans waited in anticipation for Bret Bielema’s second straight chance at winning a Rose Bowl against the Oregon Ducks. By the end of the day, the Ducks had run through, around and up and down the Pasadena paradise against Russell Wilson and company, 45-38. Little did we know, that nearly one year later, Bret would take his 5XL windbreaker and most of his assistant coaches to Fayetteville, Hog Heaven, cashing in on a big contract and pulling one over on Barry Alvarez in the process, leaving for Arkansas.

Now, with Alvarez resurrected as the head coaching statue on the sideline for this year’s match up against Stanford, Badger fans once again clench their teeth, fearing perhaps a third consecutive Rose Bowl defeat, thus becoming the modern day version of the Buffalo Bills of big football games. Can Barry pull off the miracle? Will his headphones actually be connected to someone? Stay tuned this afternoon folks, at least this Rose Bowl has a new twist that makes it an intriguing match up, and to Bret, good riddance.

The Slack , the Ashwaubenon Eleven, the Green Bay Packers, defending Super Bowl Champions and proud owners of a 15-1 record, NFC North title and a first round bye in the playoffs, held all the promise Wisconsin football fans could hope for. Could it be another Lombardi era dawning? Was Rodgers the new Bart Starr? Back to back Super Bowl Champs? Ah, no, maybe not. Eli Manning and the Giants waltzed into Lambeau and dismantled the Packers in front of 70,000 stunned fans in a game that was never close. The Fail Mary D at the end of the first half underlined the dirty secret that finally was exposed on that fateful day, the Slack simply had no teeth in their defense. Ultimately the Giants would win it all, copying the Packers blueprint from the previous year, a 6 seed running the table for the Super Bowl title.

Ryan Braun dodged a PED bullet in February, then put up ridiculous numbers again, but the Screwers pathetic bullpen blew save after save before rallying late to finish in third in the NL Comedy Central. This was a blessing in disguise for the Wurst, as I had predicted exactly the final total of their regular season record, 83-79. I did, however, have them as the Bud Selig Wild Card, which didn’t materialize, as once again the Cardinals wormed their way into the playoffs in that role. Ultimately the San Francisco Giants claimed the pennant over former Screwer Prince Fielder and the Detroit Tigers.

March saw Bo Ryan’s Badgers make another inexplicable Sweet Sixteen basketball run, led by do-it-all point guard Jordan Taylor. It all came to a frustrating halt with a great effort against Syracuse, as the Wurst followed along via the smart phone, with Cyndi, in attendance as Elton John plunked away his piano at the Alliant Energy Center. When “Saturday Night’s All Right For Fighting” kicked off the show, Taylor’s desperation three disappeared into thin air and the season was over. Once again Kentucky’s NBA farm system delivered a Final Four appearance, and this time took home it’s 8th national championship with a decisive win over Kansas. All tournament team member Doron Lamb of the Wildcats now suits up for the Bucks.

April ushered in the birth of this blog page, and the rest, as they say, is history. With over 10 million followers* now, I can honestly say it has been a labor of love. A passion. Maybe not.

The Wurst and The Wig ventured to Las Vegas in May for Cyndi’s Culinary Super Bowl, Vegas Uncorked. The four day food and wine extravaganza was an opportunity for Cyndi to finally meet her peers in person, Julian Serrano, Hubert Keller, Michael Mina, Todd English, Rick Moonen, Mary Sue Milliken, Susan Feniger, and many more. Having Moonen ladle your drawn butter on the lobster at the Mandaly Bay Clambake was a nice touch, as was the Sapphire Gin station. The Wurst ran into Norm Clarke, the Vegas gossip icon, at a nearby table too. A good time was had by all, and we only put on 10 pounds all weekend.

Linda Lepe stole the second annual Persons and Bands Championship Loon trophy from Doug Hentsch on the shores of Wilson Lake in June.  Lepe’s win kept the trophy atop the Lepe fireplace mantle for the second consecutive year, coming on the heels of husband Matt’s victory in the inagural 2011 championship.  Hentsch filed a protest for the Northwoods decision, but much to his dismay, was denied an appeal. He has vowed vengeance in 2013, citing the influence of “His People” in that region of the state as a key factor in his redemption campaign. Dry your tears Doug, here’s a “Hank-y”. 🙂

As the Screwers continued to limp through yet another maddeningly frustrating season, the Wurst dialed up Mr. Pachucki for a Hall Pass weekend at the Rio in Lost Wages. In an impromptu meeting at the rooftop of the Voodoo Lounge, Mr. Pachucki joined forces with Bob McCarthy of Elgin, Illinois and entered the 2012 Presidential race. The McCarthy-Parks ticket barnstormed Vegas over the next 48 hours, highlighted by $100 a plate dinner fundraiser at Culinary Dropout at the Hard Rock and and a VIP bash at Rhumbar later. President Obama ultimately prevailed in the November election, but the McCarthy-Parks 2016 campaign is already underway.

In an inexplicable stroke of luck, the Wurst and Cyndi returned to Vegas just four weeks later, courtesy of Clear Channel Entertainment as a local trip winner for the iHeart Radio music festival. Along with eight other winners from Madison, the Wurst and The Wig were whisked away to the desert, and deposited at Bellagio for two nights, plus tickets for two six-hour concerts on Friday and Saturday at MGM Grand Garden Arena, featuring 23 of today’s top music artists, everyone from Lil Wayne to Brad Paisley, Pink, Usher and more. The highlight, frontman Billy Jo Armstrong of Green Day, melting down on stage 15 minutes into a raucous set Friday night that F-bombed everyone in attendance, including the corporate suits up front. He checked into Rehab (not the pool party) the next day and hasn’t been heard from since. Personally, Jason Aldean and his guitars stole the show for me.

The fourth annual Washers Tournament. “Ringerpalooza 2012”, was held again on a blustery, damp day at Morgan’s in Pine Bluff in October. But the overcast skies didn’t dampen the enthusiasm, as Fred Heffling and Doug Hentsch took home the crown in an exciting Championship match. It was the second consecutive title for Heffling, a first in Washers history. It is believed his countless hours of practice in retirement is the secret to his success. It may also be the reason he threw his back out on New Year’s Eve Day and failed to join his brother for a celebratory glass of Special Export. See ya next year Freddy!

As the year came full circle and football season once again restarted, hopes were high for another big year for Wisky and The Pack. The Badgers disappointed, losing overtime games to Michigan State and Ohio State at home, barely defeating the likes of Utah State, (see new head coach Gary Andersen) but, because of NCAA penalties levied against Ohio State and Penn State, found themselves once again in the Big Ten Championship game against Nebraska. What transpired that night still has ramifications yet today, Wisky, with an unrecognizable offense, barnstormed the Cornhuskers with a 70-31 rout, racking up record yardage on the ground, scoring at will on every possesion in the first half, overcoming what was the perhaps the greatest 81 yard touchdown scramble ever by Taylor Martinez in the process. The Mid Town Pub ran out of jello shots early in the third quarter. Another trip to the Rose Bowl, with an 8-5 record.

Then, out of nowhere, Bielema decides to announce he has taken the head coaching position at, of all places, Arkansas. But, after his Woo-Pig-Sooie rendition at his first Razorback press conference, it was clear Bret was where he belonged. Once a hog farmer, always a hog farmer.

Now, with Alvarez ready to oversee the Badgers third consecutive Rose Bowl appearance, the talking heads continue to chatter in the background as the Wisconsin float rolls down the boulevard in Pasadena, the UW Band blaring in the distance. A surreal moment indeed, at least for this writer, as never in my lifetime would I have believed anyone who said Wisconsin football would make the Rose Bowl their home away from home. I’ll don the red and white gear and take the five points, and believe in the mystical powers of one Barry Alvarez. Barry’s Back, Barry Stanford.  Wisky 24, The Trees 23.

So perhaps 2013 will begin with a winner, instead of a loser, for Wisconsin fans this time around. Alvarez has already hired a winner in Gary Andersen, (see Utah State game) so the prospects for the Badger football team in 2013 look promising. But if Wisky fail to beat The Trees of Stanford, it follows that the Vi-Queens will be poised to beat the Packers at Lambeau on Sunday, at least until somebody figures out a way to tackle Adrian Peterson.

Green Bay will need a knockout punch, much like the one Juan Manuel Marquez delivered to Manny Pacquiao at the last second of the sixth round in their latest rematchin December, perhaps the greatest fight the Wurst has ever witnessed.   So I’ll say…Slack 30, Adrian Peterson 27.

Any way you slice it, 2012 included a wide array of Wurst memories, all of them good, based on friends, family  and fun, and a whole lot more to look forward to in the months ahead. For all the two or three of you that read this blog, thanks for your kind words and feel free to submit your thought here at anytime.

In the meantime…And For What

*www.andforwhat.com does not have 10 million followers. Maybe three. Three total. Just a guess.